Thud, groan, plop, sigh

Late summer light and shadow, assisted by atmospheric particulates (smoke).

And, just like that legacy blooger has gone away. Whole new interface to stumble through now. We'll see if I'm up to the challenge. In composing this post I'm trending toward wanting to punch all pukel employees in the face. Better get rid of that attitude or the day's gonna be a wreck.

##########

Anyway, post title? Yep, hit the wall.

I didn't see it coming, though perhaps I should have.

Lots and lots of busy days stacked up, and I've been busying the hell out of them. Working hard physically and mentally and emotionally.

And I've been working out hard too. Tuesday I crushed it with hill sprints, and I had a nice result with demon-smashing.

Yesterday morning I felt relatively fresh mentally and emotionally, but as soon as I got to moving around I realized I was spent physically. I was very fatigued and sore. This was different from the feeling of mental/emotional inertia left in the wake of my Love's death. I was physically "on my chinstrap" as they say in the Brit military.

The stars just happened to line up for me though, and I was able to steal some middle-of-the-day hours to blow on rest and refueling.

Refueling?

Why yes. My theory was that my body needed some "bad" food; food with carbs and fat. And a good big dose of it. So I stuffed a Shaun-doctored frozen pizza in the oven. Extra cheese and pepperoni. My body is craving, craving, craving just such a monstrosity.

These things are actually pretty good. Scandinavian via Canadia.

Long time since I've pigged out on a pie like this.

Can't let it become a habit though.

Eating the pizza seemed to be a mistake. My gut wasn't accustomed to the rich, greasy, carb-loaded food and it felt like I'd swallowed a boulder. Took forever, it seemed, to digest.

The rest of the day was blah and loaded with fatigue. Even an hour nap failed to perk me up. Coffee had zero effect.

So in a nutshell, yesterday sucked physically. I did make progress on laundry, though not as much as I like, and I did have a productive meeting later in the day.

The kids were in a right state yesterday too. They had a lot of fun but they were edgy and owly. I wonder how much of that they were channeling from the way I felt, or if it was a family-wide phenomena.

I'll never know.

##########

This morning I feel much better. Lots of smoke in the air though.

The fatigue isn't as acute and I feel like I slept better. I had a lot of very odd dreams. Sometimes that seems to be correlated with the coming of a good day.

We'll see.

##########

Little things. Little things that are big things.

When I was younger, and I think I've hinted at this to a certain extent, particularly in my Corpsman Chronicles series, I was not at all averse to spending alone time with young ladies. Horizontal and superimposed, as they (I?) say. It was always fun and enjoyable. On many occasions, after the immediate recreational episode had finished, I had the opportunity to sleep (the actual unconscious kind of sleep) with the young lady who happened to be in the sleeping place with me. I always hated that part. Something in my selfish nature recoiled at sharing the bed when it was sleeping time.

When Alex and I first found ourselves in a position to do the unconscious sleeping together thing, I worried that it would be a problem.

It was not.

I loved sleeping with Alex. From a 5 a.m. text message...

Alex: I hope you have a wonderful day my love. I slept so well with you holding me.....

Me: I love you forever beautiful. Sleeping with you heals my soul💚😊

I miss sleeping with my Love. I do love that beautiful woman forever. She did heal my soul.

Digging around in text messages is a risky game. It's got upsides and downsides.

##########

And now off to the races. It's gonna be a busy, long day, and that's a good thing. I'm feeling refreshed and energized and ready to live.