Monday, March 16, 2020

Yet another weather report featuring chickens

This is more like it!

In this part of the country March is generally rather raw and unpleasant. The air temperatures are usually warm compared to January (coldest month) and February (second coldest month) but skies are often overcast, the air is usually quite humid, and there's a near-constant north wind.

The combination of moist, 35 degree air and brisk winds make it uncomfortable to be outside. March is almost never just like June or July. There are usually a few brilliantly pleasant days, but in the main, March weather is rather yucky.

So we had a few very nice days early in the month; calm, sunshiny, and almost shirt sleeve warm.

Then the more familiar March weather arrived.

The last several days have featured cloudy skies, air temperatures hovering around the freezing mark, humidity in the 80-100 percent range, stinging cold rain and snow driven by howling winds, freezing fog and (for this area) ice storms, and a generally unpleasant out-of-doors experience. Followed by a little bit of sunshine yesterday afternoon as well as a spectacular sunset. Then the clouds and fog rolled back in.

This morning was foggy to overcast and the day has been very humid and damp, almost windless, and slightly warming with air temperatures inching up from 32 degrees at sunrise to 40 degrees at 3 p.m.

The chickens were loving it! The majority of them abandoned the Hühnergefängnislager by flying over the fence and were happily scratching for and finding springtime bugs and worms and tender, green-green grass and weeds.

This meant I'd have to go ahead with phase one of building a fence around the "berm" which is a tree nursery and tulip bed. Phase one is gathering up steel posts from where they've been long abandoned in place, just waiting for this day.

Gathering those posts would involve a lot of walking, but zero digging as the ground is presently soft and wet.

So of course I turned it into a hike, and the first leg of the hike took me straight up the steepest pitch of my own private Isandlwana Ridge. Naturally I had to visit the glacier on the back side of the ridge.

The post gathering was easy and not very interesting, unless you're interested in an old fat man's ability to trip over wire and not fall down. Leg strength and agility. In this old fat man's world, its better to have those than to not have those. Oh, I also got into an interesting discussion with Red about what we're allowed to call a mail carrier who is not a man. We didn't solve the conundrum.

Just past the five mile mark I decided to do a cool down hill. Along the way I said mean things about the nanny state. It's right at the end, feel free to skip ahead. Unless you're into heavy breathing. In that case watch the whole thing.

At the end of the cool down hill I made a video response to a whatsapp query from Herefordshire (the one in England) asking whether I was still alive or one of the 10 million norteamericanos who have succumbed to the wuhandromeda strain. Sadly, I had to report my non-demise. I just know somebody is going to steal "wuhandromeda strain" and get rich publishing a smell-all book using that title.

And I know, that's not what the teevee says. Here's the deal. If you did 7th grade science in 1970 or earlier (and possibly later) you were exposed to everything you need to understand not only that the teevee is utterly wrong, but why it is utterly wrong. The response I got from Herefordshire (the one in England) is encouraging.

"Nice to hear a voice of reason. ;-) "

After 5.5 miles and 40 steep hill ascents, I was feeling good and even a tiny bit fresh.

If the weather entities (can I even say that? I mean it's got the word t-i-t in it!) are correct we're likely to see 24 hours of "heavy" snow beginning Wednesday night. Something to look forward to! I understand that snow is very effective in cleaning the, uh, well, as a stand in for bog rolls (Jackspeak (Royal Navy vernacular) for toilet paper).

Be well and embrace the blessings of liberty.


  1. It's good to read that you are still charging the hilltops and dancing on glaciers.

    So where, precisely is Herefordshire ( the one NOT in England )?

    As to those who deliver the U.S. mail, I just call them ' letter carriers '.

    Weather entities/beings/( small ' g ' ) gods/or just plain buggers, call it/them what you will, they all suck ( except when they don't ). We had a very nice day yesterday, sunny and temps in the ( low ) 60s. Spring ( warmth ) may be on the way soon. We old people like warmth and sitting in the sun ( unless it's too hot ). Have I whined enough yet?

    You be well and may you, your family, friends, and critters survive that upcoming snow storm.

    Thanks for the post.
    Paul L. Quandt

    1. It's unspeakably good to be out charging hilltops and dancing glaciers!

      According to the interwebz, there's a Herefordshire in Roy, Utah, which is part of the Ogden/IRS governmetroplex.

      Butt "carrier" implies oppression and victimization! And no, you have not whined nearly enough.

      Thanks very much Paul, and thanks for stopping by and commenting!

  2. Hühnergefängnislager, love it!

    I noticed that during the chickens-wandering-the-yard video that Red was in position to perform chicken overwatch. Nice use of available cover!

    As to the gender of the person bringing the mail, I still slip and say "mailman," which as ours is female is wrong on a number of different levels. I guess the best way to refer to those USPS employees is "letter carrier." Though yeah, they do more than carry letters.

    'Tis a complicated world we live in.

    1. Thanks Sarge!

      I was trying to figure out how to say "Stalag Luft Chicken" or something along those lines but the translation thingy refused. Looking up the etymology (physical Webster's Collegiate dictionary) I see I was trying to force the algorithm to cough up a nonstandard but universally used contraction of stammlagar or main camp. The wonders of the Teutonic ape-lizard tongue!

      Red's on over watch but the last time she approached (and caught) a chicken she was traumatized by the reaction from Mom. So she looks at them but I don't think wild horses could drag her into even closely approaching one these days. Which is for the best all around.

      I've got a habit (perhaps a bad habit) of sarcastically poking fun at what I consider the foolish follies practiced by so many deeply brainwashed ape-lizards. I need to tear flesh as one of a number of mechanisms I use to prevent myself from heeding the song and driving my ship upon the rocks. I'm quite possibly crazy but I did recently find an old coke bottle.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

  3. Titivate is also a functional word with t-i-t contained therein.

    1. I believe I need to use that word more often, both in written form and in daily conversation. "Oy! Titivate this space and I mean now you wankers!"

      Sorry 'bout that.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting Jim!