The golden hours

So losing Al is incredibly hard, and that's obviously not a news flash.

You kind readers will note that I call Alexzandra by several different names. Al, Allie, and Alex among them. It's just the way it was; she had different names for for her many different states of being. I can't explain it better than that.

I'd like to write a bit about her, but it's going to be a process. Nothing about life really lends itself to chronological narrative, so I'm not gonna try.

Allie and I drifted into a predawn ritual where we would wake up a bit early and then lay in bed cuddling and talking. We called those moments stolen from the pending day our golden hours, and they were every bit of that. We often listened to the Dave Matthews Band and we loved to listen to and sing along with "Oh." Today that song has a different meaning, and neither of us ever saw or understood the real message of the song. What we heard is "you are here with me" and "makes it okay." We loved being here with each other, and that fact made everything okay. It was very sweet and wonderful.



I want to add this next thing too, and it dovetails with the song. Allie wrote me a letter on August third. There were some complex and worrisome and interesting things going on. At the moment they seemed very big indeed, but in reality they were nothing at all. I could spend a million years trying to explain the context, but you folks would never really get it all, so I'm not going to try. Don't be afraid to ask questions in comments; I'll try to explain as best I can. So here are images of the letter.

The memorial service was beautiful and brought me more peace than I could ever have hoped for. You can view the service here if you like.

Be well and embrace the blessings of liberty.